In my hand, I held a book given to me by a loving friend in the weeks following my brother’s sudden death.
I opened it, scanned it, hoping to find a life raft to hold on to as I fell into darkness.
These words jumped off to the page,
“We must have faith that in this darkness there is a God…God is God even of the darkest minute,” (pp. 72, What Good is God? Finding Faith and Hope in Troubled Times by Doug Herman with Donna K. Wallace).
And I heard Christ say to me,
“Rest in the darkness.
I will find you there.”
I put the book down.
That was all I needed. A blessed assurance that I could rest and He would find me.
Those words were life-giving in the months and years that followed my brother’s death. I was swallowed up by my grief. I took comfort believing that God could find me even in the darkest places of my soul.
Daily, I meditated on those words, and this scripture,
“Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46: 10).
In my rest, I came to understand that Jesus was interceding for me, that the Holy Spirit was praying for me with words I did not have, and that the prayers of family and friends were healing me.
I had to rest. Christ knew me. He provided a way for me to hear his instruction.
Once I resisted the urge to thrash, fight, and claw my way out of the darkness, I found stillness. I invited Him in and I gave Him the space to work in me. As I rested in Him, He healed me.
I want to say to you, “Stop fighting. Give yourself permission to rest in the darkness of your pain. God will find you there. And, when He does, let your stillness be His invitation to enter your soul.”
I pray you will take comfort in these words.
This post was first published at DogFur and Dandelions on Oct. 3, 2012.