The Uncounted in the Crowd | Linking up with Lisa Jo Baker and Five Minute Friday

Veteran's Day rememberance



You are surrounded. Crowded by Flowers. Hugs. Cards. Banners. American Flags. Yellow Ribbons.

You are surrounded with support and love, but want to flee. This crowd is strangling you. They cannot possibly understand what you are going through, or how you are suffering.

Then, again, the crowd surrounds you.

Although, it is a bit thinner this time. Some don’t come because they don’t know what to say or how to respond. Or worse, they are afraid your sorrow, grief and loss is contagious.

How you ache and wish your life could just be taken away from you. That you could join those you are missing.

The Uncounted

These are the voices that need to be heard. They are getting lost in the crowd. In the crowd of politics, fiscal constraints, theological legalism.

No one knows you. No one knows what to do with you. It seems fear, uncertainty, confusion is all you have to stand on.

You must feel lonely, so lonely. I pray we can speak for you. I pray we can stand up for you and fight for your voices to be heard, so that others can understand that this war continues to rage in our homes.

Children, Siblings, Spouses taking their lives because of suffering they are enduring due to war. No one is counting.

How can you not count, not matter? How can we not see? We will not let you get lost in the crowd of bureaucracy. This is our problem. We as a nation must hold you up, lift you up, support you as you continue to endure this silent pain.

Grief can be a killer if no one notices. If you think we don’t care, that you don’t matter, it will kill you from the inside out. And, the war will go on.


Five Minute Friday

We must stop and take notice.

There is an epidemic in our midst. Children, Spouses, Siblings are committing suicide as a result of the suffering they have endured by loved ones’ involvement in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. This article, while difficult to take in, is absolutely necessary for us to read, watch, and understand. We must know that there are those whose numbers are Not Being Counted.

You will hear from a Marine Spouse who shares her story of wanting to take her own life as she watched her husband suffer in the aftermath of multiple deployments.

A couple whose son was killed in action. Two years later their younger daughter committed suicide when the grief over her brother’s death became too great.

A sister who raised her two brothers in the absence of their mother. Her older brother was killed in action. Her younger brother then took his life as a result of his suffering. She is now all alone and struggling with suicidal ideation herself.

A teenager, afraid of her own father, a war hero. Believing suicide is the only answer for dealing with her pain.

No one is counting the number of parents, children and siblings who are committing suicide after the loss of a loved one due to war. No one is counting. These are the faces of “The Uncounted”. They do matter! And, we must do what we can to give them a voice so that they believe they count, too! Link to the article here:

{The Uncounted}


My deepest gratitude,


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18 thoughts on “The Uncounted in the Crowd | Linking up with Lisa Jo Baker and Five Minute Friday

  1. Thank you, Jana, for writing about this often unseen repercussion of war. The rock thrown into the pond is big & the rings going out from it feel endless.

  2. Oh, my milspouse sister. This post? Beautiful and painful. Just too many stories around us of the ones getting lost when they come home. We hear of suicides here too many times. Thank you for writing this. Love you.

    • Love you, sweet sister. Thank you for the support. So sorry for your communities losses. My heart hurts when I think of it. So much pain that needs so much love and comfort. Wish there was more I could do. love, Jana

  3. Thank you for bringing attention to such an important subject. I think we easily forget the sacrifices made and the loved ones left in the wake of those sacrifices. What a beautiful reminder. Thank you so much!

  4. I’ve only had a chance to skim the article, but I’ll definitely finish it and share it with Sam and Carol Bazemore. She’s working for T.A.P.S. (Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors). Funny to me that CNN did this – I hope they handle it well.

    Your passion is so obvious in your words! Speak it out, my sister!

  5. Stopping in From FMF! I appreciate you sharing your heart! I agree we need to reach out to those who are hurting and who have been hurt by war. I think sometimes we don’t see past our own hurt to realize they are hurting also! Thank you for your heartfelt compassion! I will be praying for you and your reaching out to them. I am sure we all know someone who has lost a loved one or friend this way and we need to do more to reach them!

  6. These losses do count, and I have great sympathy for those who suffer this way. Our freedom is paid for at the cost of those who serve and all who love them. We need to esteem it and them more.

I would love to hear from you!