Thank you Lisa-Jo Baker for another great word. Five Minute Friday works like this: Write for 5 minutes. No stopping. No editing. Today’s word is: Song. I am meeting up for Five Minute Fridays. Join me here.
Song. We sing a lot in our house. I always know my littlest is in a good mood when he is singing. He remembers lyrics to songs like it is nobody’s business. Causes me to be very careful about what I have playing on the radio.
My mother used to say the same thing about me. “Jana, I always know things are well with you when you are humming or singing a tune.” I often don’t even realize I am singing. But, that is certainly true, I often have a song in my head on my lips and I find myself singing as I walk through the grocery store or even, embarrassingly enough, while I am in the bathroom stall. Oops!
I didn’t sing for a really long time. After my brother’s death, my songs ran dry. I couldn’t find the joy within that would naturally spill over into song. I would attend church, listen to the music, but just couldn’t will myself to participate. It almost hurt to listen. I longed to sing, but the “thing”, whatever that is inside that makes me want to sing, just wasn’t there. It didn’t exist for a very long time.
How did I find my song again? I have no idea, really. Some way, some how as I began to verbalize the true me inside, the broken, hurt, pain-filled me – as I verbalized that – spoke it out of me, confessed to my reality, the song began to come back.
I heard my mother say one day – many years after my brother’s death, “Jana, I find reassurance in your song. I know that all is right with your soul, because you are singing again.”
I get it. I understand. I read my littlest one like that, too.