let Him move the mountain

My last post was a rant – an unedited, free-flow of ideas, careless rant.

I admit it was cathartic. And, I also admit I used my blog as a way to vent. And, maybe I didn’t do it the right way, or use the right words. But, it is what I felt called to write. Writing transparently out in the blogosphere forces me to admit to myself how I am really doing. I have the hardest time being honest with myself.

I struggle and doubt and whine and complain. My ramblings captured what goes on inside my head.

My thoughts are messy.

…..

Since I hit the “publish” button, I have been pondering as to why I finished my last post with “I must pursue fullness”.

What did I mean by that? What is fullness? How will I know when I get there?

I recalled a verse I have been meditating on, and am beginning to wonder if there is a connection between this pursuit of fullness and the faith that it takes to move a mountain.

Matthew 17:20 states:

For truly, I say to you, if you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.”

I have always struggled with this verse’s meaning and intent.

Psalm 121

 

Can I really believe a mountain to move, and it will? A physical, crazy-big mountain to move? Really?

It seems up surd to me. But, okay, if that is what the scriptures say, it must be true.

Then I recognized the still, small voice and I sensed Him saying – “Jana, I move the mountain. You just have to have a enough faith to believe that I can. And, then get out of my way and let me do it!”

Well, okay then!

…..

Okay, so here is what I think.

I think God is trying to move a mountain within me {metaphorically speaking}. And, I think I am getting in His way.

I am learning – slowly learning – that when there is a churning within me, a churning that makes me physically uncomfortable, I need to pay attention. God is trying to do something, make some change within my soul.

I believe that God can move mountains – both the physical ones and the metaphorical ones. Thus, I believe that my faith in God, can enable mountains to move.

When everything around me seems unsettled and in motion – I know that God is up to something big.

Matthew 17:20 states that I need to have faith like a grain of mustard seed. I need to gather just enough faith in God so that He can move the mountain.

Here is what I know to be true – I can never go wrong when I draw close to Him. When my insides are churning with anger, frustration, disappointment, selfishness, I have to draw near to him. I can fight and kick and scream and have a little pity party, but that only serves to block Him from doing the work He wants to do in my life.

I am learning that I have to get down on my knees at the feet of my Redeemer and cling to Him.

By submitting to His authority and His sovereignty, I am in a sense getting out of His way so that He can move the mountains in my life.

…..

And I think that is where my thoughts on the pursuit of fullness come full circle. Pursuing fullness can only take place at the foot of the cross. Because it is at the foot of the cross where we discover the absolute grace of Jesus Christ. And, it is this grace that humbles us most.

“[Humility] is not something we bring to God, or He bestows; it is simply the sense of entire nothingness, which comes when we see how truly God is all, and in which we make way for God to be all.” (Humility by Andrew Murray)

 

My humility, complete dependence on God, makes way for Him to move the mountain.

And to think, all it takes is “faith like a grain of mustard seed”.

purposed for humility,

jana

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